It isn't Always Easy

Today's class with the Nutrias was horrible. Horrible! It was another week that I didn't have a classroom and needed to hold class outside. And on top of that, only half of the students brought their notebooks. And because their regular school teachers are on strike, they are not in learning or listening-mode. We weren't off to a good start.

We began by pulling chairs of of the classroom and before I knew it, two of the kids were fighting. It started out playfully and then escalated until one of them cried. In the process, they broke a long-handled paint roller that was being used to paint the ceiling of the classroom. The Guaruma director was less than thrilled.

We started class but with only half of them bringing their notebooks, we couldn't do the activity planned. They know they need to bring their notebooks and that I usually send them back to their house to retrieve them if they forget, and today was no exception. It took them 10 minutes to go there and come back on bikes. When I realized that two of the students hadn't gone to get their notebooks, I was furious. They were lazy and didn't want to walk, therefore I asked them not to participate.

Once they all came back, I had each student to write 5 questions and then pass their notebook to the left so that they answer another student's questions. This was a disaster because one boy brought a higher-level book from school and they had copied questions like: "How do you get to work?" and "Does this shirt look nice on me?" without knowing their meaning. So, when we passed notebooks, the exercise went to shit because no one could answer the questions.

Meanwhile, everyone is running around, talking, making fun of one another as well as my Spanish. I was at a loss for what to do so. Because their spelling was so terrible and it seemed like today, we took 6 steps backwards after working so hard the previous weeks, I made them write the following 7 questions 5 times each in their notebooks:

• What is your name?
• Where are you from?
• How are you?
• How old are you?
• What do you like?
• What is your favorite color?
• What is your favorite fruit?

And I told them they are having a test next week. The same exercise but with no help from me.  Take that, kids!

Is it bad that sometimes I want to drop-kick the students? I'm kidding. Kind of.

I was so frustrated with today's class. Nothing was going my way and their behavior was awful. Amidst the talking, horsing around, and utter disrespect, they were yelling, "Amy Amy! I don't wanna do this... my hand hurts... I'm bored..." I almost sent a few of them back to their houses because I was sick of their complaining! I can't discipline them because I don't have the vocabulary and I get lost in their quick Spanish complaints, teasing, etc.

I volunteered for a really difficult position in desperate circumstances - the public school fails them, discipline fails them, and I'm left with a passion to teach them but no eager learners. More importantly, I find it so hard to motivate each class to learn when they don't/can't/won't see the greater goal of Guaruma's program. This is a sentiment felt by all Guaruma volunteers across the board.

I wish this community and communities all over the world raised their children with the value of education and respect. Self-motivation and success. Seeking the skills to do something about their current situation and to change it for the better.

I spoke of this before, and in education it still rings true: There exists an apathy in this community which prevents adults and children alike to progress. To change their circumstances. To provide opportunities for their children and their children's children. Everyone is OK sitting around on their porch, eating tortillas and beans 3 meals a day, and living off the hand-outs from Guaruma and other international-aid organizations. It sounds harsh but any visitor could see this as they walk through the community: paseando is their way of life and no volunteer is going to change that.

Perhaps this is the difficulty all teachers face at one point or another - desperation to educate unmotivated students.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day. I don't mean to be so negative! The frustrations of volunteering in the Third World were just really apparent today!